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Joke of the Day

"Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister? Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer."

"Why don't you take a shower with a Pokemon? He might Peek at Chu!"

"What did the comedian say before he hung himself? ""Sorry for being a noose-ance."""

"I set them up, you..."

"9: ""Mom, that's a pretty necklace. Can I have it?"" Me: ""No, I got it as a gift."" 9: ""Well, can I have it when you die, then?"""

"An economist was given the choice between participating in a marathon and just a quick race. He preferred the long run over the short run."

"So I went into the kitchen... ...because I could hear "" 1, 2, 3, 4, ..."" coming from the cutlery drawer. Apparently it's the fork that counts."

"Yes, life is meaningless, but some of the food is decent."

"Why aren't koalas real bears? Because they don't meet the koalifications!"

"I think her gash must have a rash For the last time I licked it, my head went bare, my tongue grew hair, and my nose fell off when I picked it"