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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with!"

"What's the difference between sex every day, and a tire? One is a good year, the other is a GREAT year"

"Why if the best things in life are free the next-best things are so expensive?"

"What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ? He had to get a new goat !"

"How to use eyeliner: 1. Draw a thin line on your top & bottom eyelids 2. Oops too thick, try to even them out 3. Colour your whole face in"

"My grandma still doesn't need glasses... My grandma is over 80 years old and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle."

"""Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..."" *Go to a bar you Hate *Put $50 in the Jukebox *Play nothing but Nickelback *Leave"

"Zoos shouldn't have realistic sculptures of animals. I'm not that smart, people."

"What's the hardest part about eating your vegetables? Digesting the wheelchair."

"How does Santa make new baby reindeer? In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer, in Vixen."