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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between sex every day, and a tire? One is a good year, the other is a GREAT year"

"Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it."

"you'll know you're a grown-up when you keep fifteen unnecessary pillows on your bed"

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent"

"Science has proven that everyone thinks about David Hasselhoff at least once while they masturbate. Don't believe me? Just wait until later."

"In his prime, Richard Simmons was, at best, in just okay shape."

"Why don't lobsters like to share? Because they're ""shellfish"""

"I grow herbs in my bed. Bed thyme."

"*confidently throws the empty macaroni box in the garbage because I don't need instructions* *pulls the box back out 3 times to make sure*"

"I got fired today, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently nursing homes have strict rules about what you can do with patients."