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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between sex every day, and a tire? One is a good year, the other is a GREAT year"

"If you've never tried to use ""the force"" to get a an out-of-reach remote control, you're probably not as lazy as me."

"Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*"

"Oh great. I forgot to pack an apple in my lunch and now there's doctors EVERYWHERE."

"Cute things to call your girlfriend: 1. Sugar 2. Honey 3. Flour 4. Egg 5. 1/2lb butter 6. Stir 7. Pour into pan 8. Preheat to 375"

"I JUST HAD AN ESPRESSO WHO WANTS TO JOUST?"

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson One of them did the moonwalk, the other had sex with boys"

"Two chicken are gossiping... And one of them says to the other: ""You know Brad?"" ""Yeah."" ""He's a total dick."""

"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved."

"Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? If it didn't stand on any, it would fall over."