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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs It doesn't matter that son of a bitch still won't come when u call it"

"What's the final step before a sorority girl gets initiated? Basic Training"

"A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius."

"Is Yoda's last name Lay-he-hoo?"

"I just sighed so hard, I won't have to dust for 6 months."

"""50 Shades of Clay: The Aiken Story"" might've been worse."

"Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn't push the pram - she pulled it."

"How do you start a Mexican bedtime story? Juans upon a time."

"Did you hear about the time Pontius Pilate got really drunk? He ended up nailing Jesus."

"*walks into hospital carrying baby* ""What's your return policy on this thing?"""