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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a white guy who's beating someone in the street? Officer."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a shi-tzu and a community organizer? Zu."
"When Ted Cruz kisses a baby, its parents have to throw it out and start over."
"What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!"
"My dentist is going to be so proud of me! I've been brushing my teeth like ten times a day since I started using Betty Crocker toothpaste."
"I gotta stop living every day like it could be my last. The hangovers are killing me..."
"I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn and they just hung up. They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling."
"ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*"
"What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns? Go straight for the juggler."
"Two law students walk into a bar, one says to the other... Gee, I hope we pass"