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Joke of the Day

"What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a pool table"

"I can type 600 words per minute but none of them makes any sense"

"If you emphasize the po in police they're probably already after you."

"A woman brings her items to the resister A woman brings five chocolate bars, a tub of ice cream, and some pregnancy tests to the counter Cashier: ""Ma'am, I don't think you need those pregnancy tests"""

"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."

"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"

"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken."

"When I get real bored I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving."

"I organized a threesome last night There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had a great time."

"*Works out on rowing machine *Breaks rowing machine *Doesn't know own strength *Buys Doritos to celebrate *Can't open bag"