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Joke of the Day
"If you emphasize the po in police they're probably already after you."
Next Joke
"He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit pinata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes"
"LPT: Masturbate before texting your Ex. It'll make you cum to your senses."
"*gets woken up by a tap on my shoulder* ""Daddy, how do you get yogurt out of the toaster when it's done toasting?"""
"What did the dope dealer say after he got a colonic? I don't got shit."
"Lying on a hospital bed, I pull you in close, and with my dying breath, I whisper, ""Name one of your Pokemon after me"""
"What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say? ""I feel a bit overdressed."""
"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."
"Why didn't the female frog lay eggs ? Because her husband spawned her affections !"
"The only problem with kissing a perfect 10... ...is how cold the mirror feels against your lips."