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Joke of the Day

"*Works out on rowing machine *Breaks rowing machine *Doesn't know own strength *Buys Doritos to celebrate *Can't open bag"

"My brother and I ran out of protein powder. I turned to him and said, ""no whey....."" (true story)"

"What do you get if you play a country music song backwards? You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back..."

"Why does sweden have so many somalis? They have a pirate bay......"

"""I think you'll like her. She's smart, funny, and a libra"" I've never met a libra *is super disappointed when date isn't a lion zebra mix*"

"The Pope is resigning... They say he's hearing imaginary voices from the sky.... and he also wants to retire."

"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."

"Why do neurologists think they're God? Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!"

"Two peanuts are walking down the street... one's assaulted."

"2 Indian guys accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine... Both were rushed to hospital. One's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka."