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Joke of the Day

"A long time ago a friend of mine called me conceited, but after all these years I've found out that I'm just one swell guy."

"What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?!? Pecan, typically."

"Sometimes I think... ...but usually I dont."

"Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance."

"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Yes."

"What is the difference between a terrorist training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones."

"ME: I need help losing weight. I've tried everything. NARRATOR: He hadn't tried anything at all. Nothing."

"When my upstairs neighbor uses the toilet It's some next level shit"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust."

"Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in. -"