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Joke of the Day

"Learned from my 2yr old tonight that Jesus doesn't like bananas. No word on cauliflower yet but pretty sure he's not a fan."

"GHOST: I'm here to warn you to change your ways before it's too late POLTERGEIST: I'ma open your cupboards"

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."

"Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'"

"What's the difference between a Greyhound Bus depot filled with old people, and a crab with DD boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the others a busty crustacean."

"Why doesn't Kanye West take his wife to the beach? Because he is afraid tidal wave will take her away from him."

"Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire? A.It doesn't want to become a hot dog."

"What did the submissive Native American woman say while having sex? ""Permission Tecumseh?"""

"What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking JK, Rolling."

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."