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Joke of the Day

"What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking JK, Rolling."

"{about to have sex} Her: *seductively kicks off heels and rips open blouse Me: *panics as I look for a spot to set down my half eaten taco"

"Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years."

"The faster I type in my password, the more secret agent-y I feel."

"Whatever you do, always give 100%... Unless of course, you're donating blood."

"I have a dog that can perform magic tricks. i call him Houndini.."

"What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night? Morgue Attendant"

"Dear White People, Stop making videos of yourselves singing songs from 'Frozen'!"

"Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan? Cos the sine said so!"

"Did you know the ninjas have gotten together and formed a union? They strike from the shadows."