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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Greyhound Bus depot filled with old people, and a crab with DD boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the others a busty crustacean."

"How is the Quran like weed? Burning that shit will get you stoned."

"What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede ? A great walkie-talkie !"

"Why is a train like a stick of gum? One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew."

"The theme song from The Golden Girls is stuck in my head. and now its in yours too. Your welcome."

"If one more person asks me to do a summersault.... .......I swear I'm going to flip!!!"

"Spent 15 damn minutes looking for my phone in the car last night while using my phone as a light, yup that high.."

"I was a bit upset that the condom I found in my wallet had expired but at the end of the day I'm just glad my wallet practices safe sex."

"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."

"*Power goes out* Wife: I can't see! *Shoes light up* Me: Ha! Whose shoes were ""a waste of money"" & ""clearly meant for a large child"" now?!"