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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag, but I can still fit into my high-school girlfriend."

"Have you guys seen the trailer for that new Moby Dick movie? I think it looks like a huge flop."

"Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie"

"Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road? A: He saw some American do it on TV."

"Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga? Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top."

"Wow this vegetarian rock music is really good. It's like nothing I've ever herbivore"

"What do you call a small parent? A minimum !"

"When I lost my rifle the army charged me $85.That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Sometimes shit happens"

"I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid."

"My coworker has inspirational quotes up in her cubicle and one of them says ""choose your destiny"" so I guess she plays Mortal Kombat too."