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Joke of the Day

"*locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying"

"The doctor said I have only a month to live so I shot him. the judge gave me 50 years"

"How do you know you've satisfied a redhead? She unlocks the handcuffs. Edit: for everyone that isn't getting it, it means kinky sex"

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"Have you heard the joke about Whole Foods? It was so bad it made me sustainably groan."

"What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast? Hash with alot of Salt"

"What is the best part of having Alzheimer's? You`re always meeting new people."

"What type of wrists are the scariest? Terror wrists."

"What's Macho Man Randy Savage's favourite capital city? Skopje!!"

"A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk in to a bar. And he orders a drink."