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Joke of the Day

"It's embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn't sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing."

"I want Rebecca Black to make a music video for every day of the week! Said by nobody. Ever."

"If others are jealous, you're doing something right."

"""What's The Pink Panther's favourite type of jacket?"" ""No idea."" ""Denim."" ""Denim?"" ""Denim denim denim denim denim..."""

"Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday"

"This day is medieval... Because it's a dragon."

"two cows in a barn One turns to the other and says, ""Man this mad cow disease really has me on edge."" then other cow says ""*Pshh* I don't care, I'm a helicopter!"""

"What do women and dog turds have in common? The older they get the easier they are to pick up."

"My ex and I broke up because she said she couldn't be with someone who wanted her to change. I just wanted her to stop sleeping with my friends."

"I used to work as a bed salesman One day this guy came in and started climbing into the beds and asking really specific questions. Then it hit me, he was an undercover cop."