48079

Joke of the Day

"Star Wars Casting Did you hear Carrie Fischer is going to be in the new Star Wars movies? She is going to be the new Jabba the Hutt!"

"what kind of file makes a 1 inch hole into a 3 inch hole? a pedophile"

"[SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Bourgeoisie ME: Really? W o w JUDGE: *annoyed* Sir, the word is Bourgeoisie ME:*clears throat* Eff - U - See - Kay - U"

"Fact about apple car It has Windows"

"How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? You get a tizzy signal!"

"I was gonna do a tweet about Albert Einstein's IQ but I couldn't get it under 140."

"I ran a marathon in 2011 if you add it all up probably."

"[Programming] Stupid Bugs... 99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code. Take one down, pass it around, 127 bugs in the code. Credit: Benetha619, who donated $5.00 during SethBling's stream today."

"A fine piece of art is like a fine piece of ass, I don't understand either one but I want to take both home and mount them against the wall."

"I suck my stomach in when ever I weigh myself!nnIt doesn't make me weigh less but at least I can see the numbers!"