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Joke of the Day

"Star Wars Casting Did you hear Carrie Fischer is going to be in the new Star Wars movies? She is going to be the new Jabba the Hutt!"

"An unconscious man arrives at a hospital... After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus. The doctors have declared his condition as ""stable."""

"Let me tell you guys an Alzheimer joke if I can remember it."

"Watching a show about women who choose to give birth outside. Like, let's take the most painful experience of my life and add bugs and shit."

"I drink my alcohol responsibly...spilling is not an option"

"Knock Knock! ""Who's there?"" ""9/11."" ""9/11, who?..."" I thought you said you'd never forget!"

"How do you kill a blonde? You put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool."

"What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty!"

"I wish i could Google anything. I'd type: ""where da fuck iz my phone?"" and it'd be like: ""in da fridge dumbass."""

"I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping."