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Joke of the Day

"Newsreader: ""And now Tom with the weather."" Weatherman: ""It's Tim, actually."" Newsreader: ""Sorry. And now Tom with the tim."""

"A dyslexic walks into a bra"

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!"

"What did Caesar say when was in agreement? I came. I saw. I concurred."

"A buddhist monk is watching TV Another monks come in and says, ""What are you watching?"" The monk replies, ""Nothing."""

"Apart from designers, what profession is the best at making clothes? Biologists, they work with genes all the time."

"You would think gay rights wouldn't be a problem.... With all the fags on the internet"

"What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora? M'laria"

"Somebody stole my mood ring today. I don't know how I feel about that."

"instead of taking anti-depressants I just think about how many different kinds of sandwiches there are"