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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing louder than the end of cycle signal on a dryer."

"Like if you believe in God. Remember he saw you reading this."

"Which alligator lives in the arctic? The refridgegator."

"My lame brother and his friends dressed up as european sausages tonight! He's the wurst."

"How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now"

"Driving with one hand on top of the steering wheel, because ""10 and 2"" is 12"

"Results are in: a lot of people took the ""never change"" yearbook inscription way too seriously."

"What did one steak say to another? Nice to meat you"

"I once dated a girl who told me she had had sex with Mr. Peanut. She was fucking nuts."

"Alsation: How did you find the fleas? Beagle: I didn't! They found me!"