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Joke of the Day

"*leads horse to water* ""You're not gonna drink, are you?"" *horse neighs* ""It's The Fountain of Eternal Youth."" Horse: You're not foaling me."

"What do Brits call a fleshlight? A blowtorch."

"At some point I really want to manage a Wal-mart in Texas. I want to be a Texas Chain Store Manager."

"Have any of you heard about the magician who was driving home? He turned into a driveway."

"I brought a gun that shoots knives to a gun fight. Everybody was like whoa. We didn't even fight. Went to get nachos. Cool group of dudes."

"My wife told me ""My gynecologist says I can't have sex for two weeks"" I said ""And what did your proctologist say?"""

"What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly."

"What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong."

"We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime."

"A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying ""Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"" His mate replies ""Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet"""