200539

Joke of the Day

"We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime."

"Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU."

"Why do old man's penises have low increases in size? because old men have low young's modulus"

"Q: Why does the letter A look like a flower? A: Because Bs like flowers."

"Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it! EDIT: to please all the grammar Nazis of the world"

"When does CPR become necrophilia? When you are both stiff"

"A cat goes to the vet with a septic infection. Hello Pus, said the vet."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I have no clue how they got in there."

"A teenager was stabbed to death in a shopping mall over a stolen pair of trainers. Those security guards don't fuck about."

"A lot of people tend to say life is like a rollercoaster. It is! Specifically the Smiler in Alton Towers. You start out with nervous excitement and by the end of it you need new knees."