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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Mufasa? One's an African lion, the other is a lyin' African."

"What's difference between good weed and good pussy? You can smell the weed from across the room."

"People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the humidity to admit it."

"I wrote a song about a tortilla. well actually, it's more of a wrap"

"Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think, ""Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."""

"Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""Deja"" ""Deja who?"" ""Yeah, it's me again. I left my purse!"""

"Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I'll read 4 or 5 status updates and I'll cry, because they suck and I realize that I've wasted 2 or 3 minutes of my life."

"I know it's rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you're unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me"

"What do you call a dog who does magic tricks? A labracadabrador"

"I had a friend who got fired working in a urine testing lab.... he wouldn't say why but personally, I think, it was because he was taking the piss..."