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Joke of the Day

"Why does lanolin oil smell exactly like cow semen? don't ask me!"

"Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels."

"What's got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog"

"When two gay men get married, whose parents pay for the wedding? Neither, because they're both ashamed of their children's disgusting and sinful lifestyle choices."

"Tom DeLong has split from Blink 182... Looks like he lasted 'de long' time."

"I recently started using a few drugs I draw the line at using cocaine though"

"My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100.. ..apparently 69 was not the correct answer."

"I can't pull a rabbit out of a hat. But I can pull a hair out of my ass."

"Girl, did it hurt...when you fell from heaven? *smooshed girl bobs away making accordion sounds*"

"Addicted to pills? Don't worry. They have a pill for that."