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Joke of the Day

"I recently started using a few drugs I draw the line at using cocaine though"

"A kid looks up from his phone... ...."

"A Buddhist walks into a pizza shop He says can you make me one with everything?"

"TIL that the toothbrush was made in Arkansas. If it was made anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush."

"Did you hear about the infection who made a Youtube video? He went viral..."

"Kim on FB needs help deciding if the snot in her kid's nose is from allergies or not. His Dr. says yes, but she really needs your opinion."

"I was walking downtown and saw a sign with a pig and a dog. It said ""why love one and eat the other?"" I thought to myself ""they have a point. I should start eating dogs."""

"Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so... I started doing it back to them...at funerals. "

"What's better than two roses on your paino? Tulips on your organ."

"DAD: Think an earthquake's coming. MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know. DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more."