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Joke of the Day

"You've seen those mobile trucks for grooming pets, I just saw a mobile barbershop truck for humans and thought... I wonder if a dog drives that?"

"I'm getting a vanity plate that reads ""B Pitt"" because I like people to be disappointed when they look at me."

"My Paul walker joke What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul walker in a porshce?? ""Dunn Walking!!!"

"Kim Khardasian and Kanye West named their children North West and Saint West. But to prove I'm a worse parent... I plan on naming my children...Kim Khardashian and Kanye West"

"You know what makes me smile? ... my face muscles"

"Got a phone call today to do a stand up gig at a fire station... ... Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax."

"[NSFW] where's the best place to have sex? In an Apple orchard, you always get to cum in cider."

"My GF passed away... and I wake up every day with mourning wood now."

"I once watched two guys arguing in sign language. Either that, or they were both really bad at martial arts."

"Waiting for the bus joke A girl calls her boyfriend: ""Where are you??"" ""I'm waiting for the bus!"" ""Hurry!!!"" ""Ok honey, I'll wait faster!"""