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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] where's the best place to have sex? In an Apple orchard, you always get to cum in cider."

"Classic. Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands."

"I hate it when people can't make a good sausage its the wurst"

"Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of. Is it a virus or a free U2 album?"

"[dude is just absolutely drowning in the ocean, lifeguard sits back and smiles] i love no save november"

"To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Word... I will find you. You have my Word."

"What policy do the pro-Russia rebels have on gay recruits? Donetsk, don't tell."

"Hey why isn't Phil Hughes playing in the test today? Oh didn't you hear, he was the first Australian to be killed by ebola!"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a spear... A spear has a point"

"I hate proof reading. I like to think that whatever I wrote the first time around is already perefct."