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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: what would you say is your biggest weakness? Me: *high pitched mocking voice* what would you say is your biggest weakness?"

"Do you know that condoms have serial numbers on them? No? I guess you haven't rolled them down all the way."

"Did you hear the one.... Did you hear the one about the dad who told his son if you masterbate too much you'll go blind. The son looks at his dad and says, ""Dad I'm over here!"""

"Q: How do you make anti-freeze? A: Take away her blanket."

"September is Alzheimer's Awareness month... remind me tomorrow."

"Grossest Joke I've Ever Heard. What's the difference between Menstrual Blood and Sand? You can't gargle sand."

"*admires David at the museum* I can't believe a teenage mutant ninja turtle sculpted this"

"What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker? A STD."

"yo mama so stupid that when she enterd a stupid contest they said sorry no professionals."

"I recently came out as pansexual. But I'm only attracted to cast iron. I've tried dating teflon, but it never sticks. I guess it's true what they say: ""Once you go black, you never go back"""