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Joke of the Day

"Clueless shark. Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles? A : It had a bleed on its tail fin."

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"*Clark Kent leaves his glasses on the coffeemaker at work* Lois: Anyone see the coffeemaker? You, with the glasses...seen the coffeemaker?"
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"What is a toad's favorite genre of music? Hip hop."
"ME: Billions of bacteria live on and inside my body INTERVIEWER: I meant tell me about yourself job-wise"