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Joke of the Day

"Clueless shark. Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles? A : It had a bleed on its tail fin."

"Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him."

"The doctor said I had, at best, a year to live... So I shot him. The judge gave me 30."

"SANTA: I don't need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start"

"If I had a nickel each time I had sex. I'd have a 12$/hr job!"

"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? A-tyre"

"Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His ghoul friend."

"The man who invented Chinese Whispers has died. Pass it on."

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Fair Trade."

"Why are there so many female archeologists? Because women love digging up the past."