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Joke of the Day

"What's the best lake to go motorboating? Lake Titicaca"

"MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cotton ! Cotton who ? Cotton a trap !"

"[first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone"

"98% of all band-aids are used to cover up a child's melodramatic bullshit."

"I left my girlfriend because her orgasms were too brief. I just could not accept her shortcomings."

"How does a police officer go to the bathroom? Ctrl+C"

"Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars."

"[Drug deal] How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this? *Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is"

"Wait, women get the WHOLE DAY? Is that in every country? It's night where I am is it over can it be about me again"