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Joke of the Day

"FIRST PERSON TO USE AN IRON: This battle hammer does wonders for my enemies' shirts!"

"Isn't America great! People shouting USA! At sporting events or after a disaster and we bond together. Or at home depot where its like I'll take you essay and you essay and you essay over there."

"The generic brand Kool-Aid Man just walks into walls and mutters ""whatever"" and tries to steal your wallet."

"The dictator forced everyone to work in the butter industry. Some men just want to watch the world churn."

"*school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm"

"What is the first sign of spring? Two rednecks carrying a heater into the pawn shop."

"There was a new machine at the gym... After using it for 30 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too many chocolate bars..."

"Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus."

"Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face."

"How long do you have to work at KFC before they make you a colonel?"