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Joke of the Day

"Actual men and women are extinct. Too many insecure, narcissistic, attention seeking shit lords roam this earth and I want to vomit."

"I dislike three types of people Racists, hypocrites and mexicans"

"The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught."

"Just ate at a Japanese restaurant and the entire staff was Hispanic. I don't know what is real anymore!"

"One in every two and half men are HIV positive. Donate today red.org #tigerblood #WINNING"

"Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment."

"While I was very disappointed & angry to find my daughter smoking a cigarette I'll be damned if she didn't look cooler."

"Daily routines So one day a man goes into the doctors office and says. Doctor! doctor! My penis has turned orange So the doctor says Well what is your daily routine I eat cheetos than jack off"

"What kind of injury results from having an omega-3 bottle thrown at your head? A super-fish-oil wound"

"I played a piano duet with myself... it was a Heart and Soulo"