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Joke of the Day

"Paddy and Michael are out walking when Paddy falls down a well.... Michael shouts down ""Paddy! have you broken anything???"" Paddy replies ""No! there's nothing down here to break!"""

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."

"At first I was worried about my eyesight, but my doctor said I was fine. As a matter of fact, he said that in 5 years I should have 20-20 vision!"

"How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Gas chambers don't have light bulbs."

"When dogs suddenly stop licking themselves and stare into the distance, they're thinking, ""Shit. Did I leave the iron on?"""

"My sex life is like Star Wars Its either Hans Solo or I have to use the force..."

"What did the Pimp say to the bashful Gamete Prostitute? Hey, Sex-cells"

"What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast? The holocaust."

"What's the difference between a sandwich and a germanwings plane? When the sandwich drops I'm sad."

"Remember, YOUR God is real. All those other Gods are ridiculous, made-up nonsense. But not yours. Your God is real. Whichever one that is."