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Joke of the Day

"At first I was worried about my eyesight, but my doctor said I was fine. As a matter of fact, he said that in 5 years I should have 20-20 vision!"

"A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car but burned her lips on the tailpipe."

"What do you get if you cross a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"Salads don't kill people. People who eat salads kill people."

"What is worse then sweat on Olivia Newton John? Come on Eileen"

"""WDASDWwAdWwda"" -said every pc gamer"

"Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please"

"NASA confirms, life found on mars."

"How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram? \#nophiltrum"

"I hope Hell freezes over soon. A few women have promised me dates when it happens."