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Joke of the Day
"What's red and orange and looks good on hippies.... Fire."
Next Joke
"*picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance"
"watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college"
"Hot singles in your area want you to come over and load their dishwasher correctly."
"I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog."
"Trump writing a thanksgiving tweet I love the people of Turkey!`` Related: https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/728297587418247168"
"I like my women how I like my cake. White, thick, moist, and in my mouth."
"I can point out chicks who say ""vokka"" and ""liberry"" instead of ""vodka"" and ""library"" based on the use of emoticons in their screen name."
"It would be endearing to call Elon Musk... Musk Dear"
"I'm like a cupcake, I'll go straight to your ass, girl."