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Joke of the Day

"The nun got pregnant at the Church's Halloween party. I told her not to dress up as an altar boy..."

"Who says love is dead? Necrophiliacs"

"Made a sex robot out of the Xbox and now I'm at the free clinic getting this red ring of death looked at."

"I'm not a Doctor, but I played one until I got arrested."

"Doctor, doctor, what did you say I had? Capricorn? - No, C a n c e r."

"I hate when my congressman emails me to ""take action"" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something."

"Sorry I'm late, guys. SOMEbody.. *gestures at wife* told me this knife fight started at.. *sees everyone holding guns* FANtastic, Ellen"

"Did you hear the one about the Vegan diet? Really? I'm shocked they didn't tell you already."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea green soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"What is the most commonly used phrase at a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"