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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race."

"What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll? People keep ripping me off."

"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."

"She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano."

"What's in a divorce fruit salad? alemony"

"I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels."

"How much does the Holocaust?"

"They should make realistic pregnancy test commercials. 2 best friends in a bathroom praying for a neg & celebrating w a shot & a happy dance"

"Why could Frankenstein's Monster not have children? Because his nuts were in his neck!"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was ""Raaawwwrgggah""."