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Joke of the Day

"What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll? People keep ripping me off."

"Why did Jesus walk on water? Because niggas can't swim"

"Why is Ashley Maddison the best hook up site on the Internet? Because everyone got fucked."

"People tell me I'm too condescending. That means I talk down to them."

"How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper."

"We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows. Don't want any sharks in my house."

"1:40am. I get up to pee and step on a squeaky dog toy. He grabs a bat by the bed and yells, ""Fried chicken!"" So are the days of our lives."

"How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb? One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs"

"You are so ugly, when people see you.. ..staring at yourself in the mirror for a long time , they don't think you are a narcissist but automatically assume you have Body dysmorphic disorder.."

"I bet all three Pigs had a great education, but the Pig that lived in the straw house probably had a ponytail and a neck tattoo."