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Joke of the Day

"When a guy texts a girl ""hey stranger"", what he really means is ""I've recently thought about trying to get in your pants again."""

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""why the long face?"" The horse unable to understand human speech promptly takes a dump on the floor and leaves"

"My ""Metapod"" has been having some problems When I used Harden . . . It failed. So I tried to find something to help it. After asking my doctor, he said the best option would be to use a PP Up."

"As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free..."

"Nothing is as effective as homeopathy -Peter Serafinowicz"

"adulthood is just eating a taco where the toppings keep falling out and then death"

"I like my coffee like i like my women... ...from a third world country and at a reasonable price!"

"You know the kids that'd knock on doors and run away....? ...they now deliver stuff for UPS"

"What has eight arms and tells the time? A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner"

"I love my girlfriend's dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."