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Joke of the Day

"Who says, ""Phlbbbbtfffbllph I NEED TO SAVE THE WORLD IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS phlbbbbtthhphhbbl"" Queefer Sutherland."

"If I were a famous president I would totally use money as photo I.D."

"Doubt this is welcome in /r/ShowerThoughts but thought of it there. How many rascist Drink names can we collectively think of? I'll edit the best ones into this post. Mine was ""*White Power*-ade""."

"my spirit guide told me to scale the shelves at Cosco and build a nest with toilet paper"

"The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it. It's a big pho queue."

"The barber asked me ""do u have any kids"" & I said ""I do not, no"" and he got very quiet, realize now he probs thought I said ""I do not know"""

"what idot labeled all the orange juice labels w/ ""no pulp"" insted of ""pulp fiction"""

"Batman can safe the world ,but clark kent"

"Can a dinosaur tell a joke? You bet jur-ass-ic can!"

"How come white girls can only count odd numbers? Because they can't even."