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Joke of the Day

"Been watching television without eating. I feel like I'm working."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""

"Why couldn't Bach be a rapper? Because he's Baroque."

"No one knows if you're cool when you're a jew because backwards yarmulkes look the same as normal ones"

"I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. ""Nope Unintended"""

"They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people"

"What does a Math Professor do when he's constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"[nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?"

"Batman pushes a batcuffed Joker thru the crowd. ""Look! Hahaha!"" yells the Joker. Batman glances up at the jumbotron. GODDAMN the kiss cam."

"My Mexican friend was babbling hysterically but I just couldn't understand his panic."