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Joke of the Day

"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."

"Baby's first cigarette!"

"It was the Fourth of July The department I work in has a lot of people frm Turkey. My job is to fire people. I had to fire Turks."

"My wife's safe word: ""Not tonight"""

"Did you see the new abortion movie? I hear it's a real coat hanger"

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going in and asking for a coat hanger."

"What is the difference between a vacuum and a snowboarder? How you strap on the dirtbag."

"Are u cold? http://imgur.com/qfirGti"

"How do you know if a chick used a vibrator while she was pregnant? The kid stutters"

"What do you get when you cross a paraplegic and a Pentecostal? Faith-masturbation."