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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ? Monkfish !"

"What did one paedophile say to the other? Swap you two fives for a ten"

"When I grocery shop for the wife I always buy cucumbers smaller than me, just in case."

"I would do anything for my friends. Except answer their calls, return their texts, listen to their problems or see them. But anything else"

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5"

"Has the passing of the holidays left you feeling alone in the world, unloved and depressed? Don't worry, Valentine's Day is coming right up!"

"I was fooling around with my new Roomba... I guess you could call it nice, clean fun."

"A women asked her husband, ""What do bees eat?"" The husband replied ""Honey, how should I know?"""

"What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make? ITS RAWR!"

"[laying in bed] wife: Did you remember to find a stud before you hung the TV up? me: Yes *sound of TV crashing to the floor* me: No"