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Joke of the Day

"Has the passing of the holidays left you feeling alone in the world, unloved and depressed? Don't worry, Valentine's Day is coming right up!"

"One of my friends went up to my Portuguese dad.... and asked ""You're Portuguese, right?"" He said ""No, I'm Portugoose. There's is only one of me"""

"Follow your dreams. Search through your dreams mail. Show up drunk on your dreams doorstep. Kidnap your dreams. Never let your dreams go."

"Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five Clinton won three games to two."

"A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three. He began counting ""Uno, dos..."" And he disappeared without a tres."

"playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as ""options."""

"Greek mythology in 3 words Zeus got horny"

"What appears when you ask a genie for a classical composer? A wish Liszt."

"Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money."

"Don't stay inside and get depressed about the news. Go outside and get skin cancer!"