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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"I used to date a chick liked it when I made her angry while we were in bed. She was into hardcore scorn."

"I'm no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one."

"The Past Present and Future... The Past Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"What do you get when you cross dirty double meanings with WWI? The Triple Entendre."

"*Slides a five across the bar* Bartender: Did you... Did you break this off our sign out front? Me: (Confidently) tap water please."

"I would never skydive. http://i.imgur.com/uRJyOmB.png"

"Still good at casually flexing my bicep the second before a girl touches it."

"Words cannot describe how cute you are. But numbers can, 3/10."

"Have you heard of the new birth control for men? put a rock in your shoe and it will make you limp"