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Joke of the Day

"[spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR"

"Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker? He wrote ""1 + 0 = 0"" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out..."

"A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says "" Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here""."

"I'm not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp."

"What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear? Claude"

"Q: Why did the kid dump a bucket of water off the school roof? A: He wanted to make a big splash in front of his class."

"Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster."

"Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls."

"I'll think of a good herb joke... When I have some thyme"

"My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem"