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Joke of the Day

"Throwing burgers around furniture because I have a hunch that termites only eat wood because they have not tried anything tastier."

"What do you call a homosexual Hispanic peeping tom? Peeko-da-guyo."

"What do you calls sushi in Serbia? Nishikori"

"[picking name for new puppy] 13: Pixie. 16: Rosie. Wife: Annie. Me: BATMAN!"

"One man's junk is another man's treasure... especially to gay people"

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead..."

"What do you call a bear who's just got too much darn cartilage? A gristly bear."

"My girlfriend said a small penis was okay. But I still wish she didn't have one."

"My Ex Wife Still Misses me, BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER, HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! You see, it's funny cause marriage is terrible. Edit: Joaige"

"*sneaks into sons room to scare him* *trips over skateboard* *steps on something squishy* *turns light on* *makes him clean his room*"