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Joke of the Day

"I'd be great at Wheel of Fortune. I shout random shit all the time. It's called ""tourettes"". ""Pat, I'd like to buy a... FUCK! SHIT! FUCK!"""

"Did you know that the Coast Guard is the only branch of military with a minimum required height of 6feet? It's so if their boat sinks they can walk to shore."

"Just got home from the doctor, apparently I have a couple of kidney stones... It should be okay though, he told me that *these two shall pass.*"

"What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands? A dope ring."

"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""

"When I was a kid I liked my Jack in the Box...But now I prefer my Jack in the Bottle."

"I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them."

"""GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND WE MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD FOR ANYTHING"" ""sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad, bring it in"""

"A guy walks into a grocery store... And buys groceries."

"What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!"