191004

Joke of the Day

"""GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND WE MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD FOR ANYTHING"" ""sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad, bring it in"""

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"""This tweet isn't funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!"" --me"
"What's the difference between fighting on the internet and participating in the paralympics? None, even if you win, you're still retarded."
"I hate going to the dentist, he is always like ""did you eat Oreos before you came in?"" and ""you are still eating Oreos, I can see you"""
"On Canada Day, I like to say ""HAPPY CANADA DAY!"" to people. But quietly. And from a distance. I don't want to be a bother."
"People say I have a dry sense of humor. So when you hate everyone the word to describe that is dry now I guess."
"I opened the door to find my friend masturbating. He yelled ""Close the door!"" So I yelled, ""Get inside!"""
"""It's a bird!"" ""It's a plane!""... What the hell were those two so excited about?"
"Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way."
"So a man comes into a bar... No, wait... It was a horse. So a horse comes into a man."
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