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Joke of the Day

"whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"My car is so shitty, one time I fixed it with a coat hanger. Goes to show that those things can BRING life too."

"My head feels like something Picasso would have drawn."

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"I started up a poster design company called ""Original Poster"" We don't deliver."

"I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN"

"Wife. ""Did you cut the grass?"" Me. ""Yep"" Wife. ""But it doesn't look any different!"" Me. ""I know, we had a lot of rain while you were out"""

"Gabriel ""Really? That's how you want humans to reproduce?"" God ""Trust me. It will be hilarious."""

"Google Search: -is my toaster broken -can fire ants make toast -bathtub fire, small -house fire, how to stop -is house fire toast a thing?"

"What type of lights were on Noah's Ark? You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!"