104040

Joke of the Day

"Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he's in my belly and he has to go where ever I go from now on..."

"""Oh my god, that's so offensive!""- Someone, about everything."

"I FEEL SO ALIVE MCDONALD'S IS GIVING AWAY FREE COFFEE I PASSED 20 MCDONALD'S TODAY DO THE MATH TOO LATE I DID THE MATH SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS"

"""Are you already hot as shit? Then you'll look hot as shit in our glasses"" - Every glasses ad"

"""We never talk anymore."" ""I know. It's amazing!"""

"Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

"What do they call a rant in Australia? A Fuck-filled Platitude"

"What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures? Narcolepsy"

"I had long suspected a rival robot lumberjack of stealing my wood So I checked its log files."

"Let's both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip."