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Joke of the Day

"Stop calling it ""sweater weather"" and call it what it really is, ""I don't have to shave my legs for 6 months weather."""

"How much for that babysitter? Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!"

"Most homophobes are secretly gay. However, most arachnophobes are not secretly spiders."

"Whats the ISIS members' astrological sign? Sad terrorist"

"What does fast and furious 5 and the walking dead have in common? They both have dead walkers."

"What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snow- woman?? Snowballs..."

"K/D/A Stood for Kill, Death, Assist?! I thought it was short for Krillin's Dead Again!"

"Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that."

"My wife has her period so I suggested swimming, beach volleyball and a horseback ride. She told me to piss off. Commercials are misleading."

"For Follow Friday I recommend Saturday."